I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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