One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
