Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize