I wish my penis had an off switch
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
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