I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize