If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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