lets start a swedish sibling band together
you have to choose: penises or morals?
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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