Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Randomize
