I want to walk on stilts...naked
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
