My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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