is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
