May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
pray to the hookup gods
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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