gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
