please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
