i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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