woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I have feelings that need drinking.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
