Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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