im drinking this country out of the recession.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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