AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
