; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
