he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
