She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
We're too hungover to prance.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize