It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
