BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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