i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize