Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
