Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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