he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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