Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
