the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
