Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
