i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
