i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
