Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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