idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
