You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Randomize
