I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
