Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Randomize
