my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
