What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize