We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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