Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
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