Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
