Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
It's Friday. Sex?
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
