too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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