"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
