I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
