I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
