she looked like the bat from fern gully.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize