made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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