That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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