Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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