she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Randomize
