pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
