I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
