I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
