Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
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