Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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