Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
