That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
