Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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