just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize