I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
