I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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