It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
