Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
