Sponge bath it is.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
