You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
My liver just had a heart attack.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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