Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
