big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
