Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
